New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
