no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
