it was like his penis was on wheels.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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