Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
