nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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