I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
