Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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