We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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