i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
