i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
