you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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