eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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