Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Duck Duck Cougar?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
