That's intense
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize