It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
