I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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