eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
