That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
