i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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