On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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