That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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