You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
