Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
