I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize