do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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