he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We had sex on a dog bed..
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
