I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Found the puke drawer
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
