he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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