hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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