It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
