All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
