I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
