porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize