Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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