Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you never un-have a 4some
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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