so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
