You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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