The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
