seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
