The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
