No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
