I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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