you guys were way drunker than both of me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
