Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
