He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
