She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
