My brain says no but my pants say off.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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