I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
