im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
