there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
