She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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