is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
