Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
