she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it was like eating out sand paper
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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