Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
