When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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